bad times for Jan and Kidd

Guys,

I thank you for your support through all of this.
We have been able to talk a lot more and clear things up.
It really is over, there is no chance of going back. What the future
brings somewhere down the line, nobody knows. We were able to save an
amazing friendship and respect for one another, and we can pretty much
agree on everything. She is helping me a lot, and her being emotionally
so far ahead of me in the process, helps the situation. I'm a little
lost and freaking out sometimes, but she's there to tell me what's what.
Isn't that something, who has heard of a divorce like that?!?!

But no, it does not leave room for "maybe", if you were thinking that.

In the middle of all this, I can consider myself extremely lucky that
it's her and not anyone else. I have watched and heard plenty of
divorces turn ugly.

Jan


dave AKA vwdoc1 wrote:
> I agree with Robert!
> Write more letters from your heart!
> JMHO
> One out of many daves
>
>
> "Robert" > wrote in message
>
> I’ve been with my wife for 32 years. We’ve been through a lot and on
> the verge of breaking up a few times. What I think has brought us
> through the tough times was very similar to a scene in The Outlaw
> Josey Wales where Eastwood says to “pilgrims” right before the Indian
> attack. Basically, when you think it’s over, you have to have
> determination. In your case, I would say, even if she walks, live
> your life like you promised her when you proposed and on your wedding
> day. Be faithful, be a good dad and husband and work for the best for
> her even if it means self-sacrifice. Self-sacrifice means to make
> positive changes in the way you live your life and relate to her. Be
> there when she needs you. Make decisions like the lives of your
> family depend on them. I actually think you ought to write down your
> feelings, promises and decisions and give them to her. Maybe your
> writing skills are better than your verbal skills. I say that because
> I see you write on two VW sites. You are a top class person even when
> others go to the gutter. In real life, the good guy doesn’t have to
> finish last.
>
>
>
> --- news://freenews.netfront.net/ - complaints: ---

First off, I forgot to mark this topic OT. Sorry

But since I'm the King, I can get away with it. Right?


Anyhooters.


Anyone know what kind of drugs they will give you at a drug test for a
new job I just got 1 hour ago? BAM!

(at twice the hourly rate of my old job if I was to calculate it... and
I did.. just shorter days, like a normal workday.. from close to 11
hours down to 9 feels like it anyway...more time for the family...
sundays still off.. 5 minute commute instead of half hour... big chain
company... parts discounts I'm sure... )

Now to figure out how to drop the bomb to my boss.

Sorry to hear that brother Jan. Hope everything goes well in the end.
Give Kidd a hug from me. I still remember your wedding day on IRC
every once in a while. Maybe you're just going through a rough patch
and things will get better soon.

Karls

On Apr 6, 8:13*pm, Jan Andersson >
wrote:
> No more Porsches.
>
> I'll be working at the local Pep Boys
>
> True!! *As a master tech, getting paid master tech rate, doing master
> tech work, like I should.
>
> And hopefully being treated as a human being with some value. That would
> be a fresh change.
>
> dave AKA vwdoc1 wrote:
> > ahhhh I shall call you.........MASTER Jan! *lol
>
> > Congrats on that new JOB! *;-)
>
> > Will you still be working on Porsches?
> > What will happen to that project car you were restoring?
>
> > "Jan" > wrote in message
> ...
>
> >> First off, I forgot to mark this topic OT. Sorry
>
> >> But since I'm the King, I can get away with it. Right?
>
> >> Anyhooters.
>
> >> Anyone know what kind of drugs they will give you at a drug test for a new
> >> job I just got 1 hour ago? BAM!
>
> >> (at twice the hourly rate of my old job if I was to calculate it... and I
> >> did.. just shorter days, like a normal workday.. from close to 11 hours
> >> down to 9 feels like it anyway...more time for the family... sundays still
> >> off.. 5 minute commute instead of half hour... big chain company... parts
> >> discounts I'm sure... )
>
> >> Now to figure out how to drop the bomb to my boss.
>
> > --- news://freenews.netfront.net/ - complaints: ---

Well getting treated as a human being AND getting paid properly sounds like
some good things!
Congrats there!


"Jan Andersson" > wrote in message
...
>
> No more Porsches.
>
> I'll be working at the local Pep Boys
>
> True!! As a master tech, getting paid master tech rate, doing master tech
> work, like I should.
>
>
> And hopefully being treated as a human being with some value. That would
> be a fresh change.
>
>
>
>
>
>
> dave AKA vwdoc1 wrote:
>> ahhhh I shall call you.........MASTER Jan! lol
>>
>> Congrats on that new JOB! ;-)
>>
>> Will you still be working on Porsches?
>> What will happen to that project car you were restoring?
>>
>> "Jan" > wrote in message
>> ...
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> First off, I forgot to mark this topic OT. Sorry
>>>
>>> But since I'm the King, I can get away with it. Right?
>>>
>>>
>>> Anyhooters.
>>>
>>>
>>> Anyone know what kind of drugs they will give you at a drug test for a
>>> new job I just got 1 hour ago? BAM!
>>>
>>> (at twice the hourly rate of my old job if I was to calculate it... and
>>> I did.. just shorter days, like a normal workday.. from close to 11
>>> hours down to 9 feels like it anyway...more time for the family...
>>> sundays still off.. 5 minute commute instead of half hour... big chain
>>> company... parts discounts I'm sure... )
>>>
>>> Now to figure out how to drop the bomb to my boss.
>>>
>>
>>
>>
>> --- news://freenews.netfront.net/ - complaints: ---



--- news://freenews.netfront.net/ - complaints: ---

:-(

Sorry to read this Jan.

I've not been here for a while, and this news saddens me


more so, because my wife and I split up last summer. She left ... moved
out and everything.

I didn't give up, we both realised what we once had, and it was worth
more , long term, than silly squables that had built up over time.

We got back together a few months later and we are strong now. we are
different people ... better to each other... rather than self centered,
but we still have to be mindfull of what happend, and think about each
other all the time.

I dont know how you two are now ... a month has passed since the last
post on the thread.

I am glad you are at least still friends.
I hope, if it's the right thing, that you can work through it.
I also understand, that it may not be the right thing ??? only you both
can find that out.

I think of you Jan

and wish you the best

Richard
(Tricky)

On Mon, 05 Apr 2010 22:29:06 -0500, The Busman wrote:

> Beating yourself up won't work either. It takes 2 to tango in good times
> and bad.
> Andy
> (almost 20 years of "bliss")
>
> "Jan" > wrote in message
> ...
>> P.J.Berg wrote:
>>> On Sun, 04 Apr 2010 20:12:30 +0200, Jan Andersson
>>> > wrote:
>>>
>>>> Hi guys.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> I am disappointed and endlessly saddened to report that my marriage
>>>> seems to have come to an end. Kidd and I have gone through some tough
>>>> times economically and other external influences like the athmosphere
>>>> at my work has caused both of us to close up and get depressed.
>>>> Somewhere along the way we forgot to be there for one another, or
>>>> weren't able to communicate. She has made the mental decision to
>>>> break up a long time ago, but for me this is new.
>>>>
>>>> Needless to say, I am crushed. I love my wife to no end, and she
>>>> loves me too but more as a friend than a husband. I understand. I
>>>> thought we had something so special between us that nothing could
>>>> break it, but I can't ask any more of her, she has been miserable too
>>>> for a long time, and her faith of things being able to get better has
>>>> died. (Mine has not)
>>>>
>>>> We are finally able to push aside all animosity and negativity and
>>>> communicate again, but it's too late to save our marriage. We will
>>>> save our special friendship however, and we will still be a key part
>>>> in each others' lives, also for the two kids we have together. Poor
>>>> little things.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> I decided to write about this here in Ramva, because our love story
>>>> started here and we have long time friends here.
>>>>
>>>> I gotta tell you, I feel like ****. I have never felt this bad
>>>> inside.
>>>>
>>>> Keep us both in your prayers and send us all the luck you can, so we
>>>> can get through this and make the best of what we have left.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Rebound girlfriend applications will likely be rejected but who
>>>> knows. Send a photo.
>>>>
>>>> Jan
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> You have my sympathy Jan.
>>> Sorry to say I have seen this a long time coming from her posts on
>>> F.B.
>>>
>>> My best wishes.
>>>
>>> Jørn
>>>
>>>
>>
>> Yea I have seen it too, but things were so sour between us I was not
>> able to approach her. I don't blame her, but you know any attempt to
>> get close or talk resulted in my head being in danger of being bitten
>> off.
>>
>> Then again, I should have tried harder, and a long, long time ago. Time
>> does not heal these things on its own. Waiting it out won't work. You
>> gotta do something and swallow your pride. Hindsight 20-20...

Thanks Richard.

Things haven't changed. We broke up and that's the end of it.
The worst thing is what this will do to our little kids. Breaking up a
family should never be an easy decision. I was against it with every
cell in my body, but there's nothing I can do.

We are still good friends and able to talk about everything under the
sun, but there's no going back.

Now we need to get a ton of things organized and find the best way to
start our newly shaped lives together, since we WILL be a part of each
others' lives anyways because of the kids.

The STRESS is unbearable.

Having no money adds to it.

So yea, life sucks worse than ever. But at least I have two wonderful
kids to keep me sane.





tricky wrote:
> :-(
>
> Sorry to read this Jan.
>
> I've not been here for a while, and this news saddens me
>
>
> more so, because my wife and I split up last summer. She left ... moved
> out and everything.
>
> I didn't give up, we both realised what we once had, and it was worth
> more , long term, than silly squables that had built up over time.
>
> We got back together a few months later and we are strong now. we are
> different people ... better to each other... rather than self centered,
> but we still have to be mindfull of what happend, and think about each
> other all the time.
>
> I dont know how you two are now ... a month has passed since the last
> post on the thread.
>
> I am glad you are at least still friends.
> I hope, if it's the right thing, that you can work through it.
> I also understand, that it may not be the right thing ??? only you both
> can find that out.
>
> I think of you Jan
>
> and wish you the best
>
> Richard
> (Tricky)
>
> On Mon, 05 Apr 2010 22:29:06 -0500, The Busman wrote:
>
>> Beating yourself up won't work either. It takes 2 to tango in good times
>> and bad.
>> Andy
>> (almost 20 years of "bliss")
>>
>> "Jan" > wrote in message
>> ...
>>> P.J.Berg wrote:
>>>> On Sun, 04 Apr 2010 20:12:30 +0200, Jan Andersson
>>>> > wrote:
>>>>
>>>>> Hi guys.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> I am disappointed and endlessly saddened to report that my marriage
>>>>> seems to have come to an end. Kidd and I have gone through some tough
>>>>> times economically and other external influences like the athmosphere
>>>>> at my work has caused both of us to close up and get depressed.
>>>>> Somewhere along the way we forgot to be there for one another, or
>>>>> weren't able to communicate. She has made the mental decision to
>>>>> break up a long time ago, but for me this is new.
>>>>>
>>>>> Needless to say, I am crushed. I love my wife to no end, and she
>>>>> loves me too but more as a friend than a husband. I understand. I
>>>>> thought we had something so special between us that nothing could
>>>>> break it, but I can't ask any more of her, she has been miserable too
>>>>> for a long time, and her faith of things being able to get better has
>>>>> died. (Mine has not)
>>>>>
>>>>> We are finally able to push aside all animosity and negativity and
>>>>> communicate again, but it's too late to save our marriage. We will
>>>>> save our special friendship however, and we will still be a key part
>>>>> in each others' lives, also for the two kids we have together. Poor
>>>>> little things.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> I decided to write about this here in Ramva, because our love story
>>>>> started here and we have long time friends here.
>>>>>
>>>>> I gotta tell you, I feel like ****. I have never felt this bad
>>>>> inside.
>>>>>
>>>>> Keep us both in your prayers and send us all the luck you can, so we
>>>>> can get through this and make the best of what we have left.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> Rebound girlfriend applications will likely be rejected but who
>>>>> knows. Send a photo.
>>>>>
>>>>> Jan
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> You have my sympathy Jan.
>>>> Sorry to say I have seen this a long time coming from her posts on
>>>> F.B.
>>>>
>>>> My best wishes.
>>>>
>>>> Jørn
>>>>
>>>>
>>> Yea I have seen it too, but things were so sour between us I was not
>>> able to approach her. I don't blame her, but you know any attempt to
>>> get close or talk resulted in my head being in danger of being bitten
>>> off.
>>>
>>> Then again, I should have tried harder, and a long, long time ago. Time
>>> does not heal these things on its own. Waiting it out won't work. You
>>> gotta do something and swallow your pride. Hindsight 20-20...
>

I'm sorry to here it Jan.
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
So, what's she look like now days?? <g>


An opportunity wasted is an opportunity lost.


=-)

Gary Tateosian wrote:
> I'm sorry to here it Jan.
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> So, what's she look like now days?? <g>
>
>
> An opportunity wasted is an opportunity lost.
>
>
> =-)


Well stuff happens. Life goes on in one form or another. Just need to
get over this limbo phase and start over. Hate the part where everything
is changing, and to have no control over anything. Life as I knew it is
over, once again.

Oh she looks as good as ever.

Jan Andersson wrote:
>
> The STRESS is unbearable.
>
> Having no money adds to it.
>
> So yea, life sucks worse than ever. But at least I have two wonderful
> kids to keep me sane.


I returned here to lurk a bit after a while. And what I find? Bad news.

For you Jan:

Pahoittelen tapahtunutta. Jaksamista teille molemmille. Pitäkää huolta
lapsistanne kuitenkin, niinkuin varmasti aioittekin ja tulette pitämään.

---
Olli

Olli Lammi wrote:
> Jan Andersson wrote:
>>
>> The STRESS is unbearable.
>>
>> Having no money adds to it.
>>
>> So yea, life sucks worse than ever. But at least I have two wonderful
>> kids to keep me sane.
>
>
> I returned here to lurk a bit after a while. And what I find? Bad news.
>
> For you Jan:
>
> Pahoittelen tapahtunutta. Jaksamista teille molemmille. Pitäkää huolta
> lapsistanne kuitenkin, niinkuin varmasti aioittekin ja tulette pitämään.
>
> ---
> Olli


Jep jep kaytannon asiat hoidetaan yhdessa sujuvasti ja ystavia ollaan
yha. Valilla pinnaa kiristaa edelleen ulkopuoliset asiat kuten rahan
puute jne... alamakeen luisutaan yha. Mutta muutto uusiin maisemiin
edessa, ainakin hiukan helpottaa. Paljon enemman avoimia tyopaikkojakin
siella. Alkuun asumme yha yhdessa lasten takia, mutta ero on tosiasia.
katon oman kampan kun saan ensin toita jostain.

Translation: Whine whine whine whine moving further up north soon whine
whine whine.