bad times for Jan and Kidd

Hi guys.


I am disappointed and endlessly saddened to report that my marriage
seems to have come to an end. Kidd and I have gone through some tough
times economically and other external influences like the athmosphere at
my work has caused both of us to close up and get depressed. Somewhere
along the way we forgot to be there for one another, or weren't able to
communicate. She has made the mental decision to break up a long time
ago, but for me this is new.

Needless to say, I am crushed. I love my wife to no end, and she loves
me too but more as a friend than a husband. I understand.
I thought we had something so special between us that nothing could
break it, but I can't ask any more of her, she has been miserable too
for a long time, and her faith of things being able to get better has
died. (Mine has not)

We are finally able to push aside all animosity and negativity and
communicate again, but it's too late to save our marriage. We will save
our special friendship however, and we will still be a key part in each
others' lives, also for the two kids we have together. Poor little things.


I decided to write about this here in Ramva, because our love story
started here and we have long time friends here.

I gotta tell you, I feel like ****. I have never felt this bad inside.

Keep us both in your prayers and send us all the luck you can, so we can
get through this and make the best of what we have left.



Rebound girlfriend applications will likely be rejected but who knows.
Send a photo.

Jan

Jan Andersson wrote:
> Hi guys.
>
>
> I am disappointed and endlessly saddened to report that my marriage
> seems to have come to an end. Kidd and I have gone through some tough
> times economically and other external influences like the athmosphere at
> my work has caused both of us to close up and get depressed. Somewhere
> along the way we forgot to be there for one another, or weren't able to
> communicate. She has made the mental decision to break up a long time
> ago, but for me this is new.
>
> Needless to say, I am crushed. I love my wife to no end, and she loves
> me too but more as a friend than a husband. I understand.
> I thought we had something so special between us that nothing could
> break it, but I can't ask any more of her, she has been miserable too
> for a long time, and her faith of things being able to get better has
> died. (Mine has not)
>
> We are finally able to push aside all animosity and negativity and
> communicate again, but it's too late to save our marriage. We will save
> our special friendship however, and we will still be a key part in each
> others' lives, also for the two kids we have together. Poor little things.
>
>
> I decided to write about this here in Ramva, because our love story
> started here and we have long time friends here.
>
> I gotta tell you, I feel like ****. I have never felt this bad inside.
>
> Keep us both in your prayers and send us all the luck you can, so we can
> get through this and make the best of what we have left.
>
>
>
> Rebound girlfriend applications will likely be rejected but who knows.
> Send a photo.
>
> Jan


Anyone else out there having a hard time in their relationship, hear my
words. Just waiting it out and hoping things to get better on their own
and letting time heal things, is not the way. You risk losing it all.
Time to act, one of you has to swallow their pride and make an honest
approach and talk. Dammit.

Was this supposed to be sent out on April 1st?

If it is true then I will say a little prayer for you!


"Jan Andersson" > wrote in message
...
> Jan Andersson wrote:
>> Hi guys.
>>
>>
>> I am disappointed and endlessly saddened to report that my marriage seems
>> to have come to an end. Kidd and I have gone through some tough times
>> economically and other external influences like the athmosphere at my
>> work has caused both of us to close up and get depressed. Somewhere along
>> the way we forgot to be there for one another, or weren't able to
>> communicate. She has made the mental decision to break up a long time
>> ago, but for me this is new.
>>
>> Needless to say, I am crushed. I love my wife to no end, and she loves me
>> too but more as a friend than a husband. I understand.
>> I thought we had something so special between us that nothing could break
>> it, but I can't ask any more of her, she has been miserable too for a
>> long time, and her faith of things being able to get better has died.
>> (Mine has not)
>>
>> We are finally able to push aside all animosity and negativity and
>> communicate again, but it's too late to save our marriage. We will save
>> our special friendship however, and we will still be a key part in each
>> others' lives, also for the two kids we have together. Poor little
>> things.
>>
>>
>> I decided to write about this here in Ramva, because our love story
>> started here and we have long time friends here.
>>
>> I gotta tell you, I feel like ****. I have never felt this bad inside.
>>
>> Keep us both in your prayers and send us all the luck you can, so we can
>> get through this and make the best of what we have left.
>>
>>
>>
>> Rebound girlfriend applications will likely be rejected but who knows.
>> Send a photo.
>>
>> Jan
>
>
> Anyone else out there having a hard time in their relationship, hear my
> words. Just waiting it out and hoping things to get better on their own
> and letting time heal things, is not the way. You risk losing it all. Time
> to act, one of you has to swallow their pride and make an honest approach
> and talk. Dammit.



--- news://freenews.netfront.net/ - complaints: ---

Sorry to hear it Jan.

Randy

No April fools
The only fool here is me for not realizing what was going on before.
I had plenty of opportunity.

One of the biggest love stories I know... and it had to come to this.
<sigh>.

I'm glad I still have her as my best friend when going through this
crap. Weird how that can still work.





dave AKA vwdoc1 wrote:
> Was this supposed to be sent out on April 1st?
>
> If it is true then I will say a little prayer for you!
>
>
> "Jan Andersson" > wrote in message
> ...
>> Jan Andersson wrote:
>>> Hi guys.
>>>
>>>
>>> I am disappointed and endlessly saddened to report that my marriage seems
>>> to have come to an end. Kidd and I have gone through some tough times
>>> economically and other external influences like the athmosphere at my
>>> work has caused both of us to close up and get depressed. Somewhere along
>>> the way we forgot to be there for one another, or weren't able to
>>> communicate. She has made the mental decision to break up a long time
>>> ago, but for me this is new.
>>>
>>> Needless to say, I am crushed. I love my wife to no end, and she loves me
>>> too but more as a friend than a husband. I understand.
>>> I thought we had something so special between us that nothing could break
>>> it, but I can't ask any more of her, she has been miserable too for a
>>> long time, and her faith of things being able to get better has died.
>>> (Mine has not)
>>>
>>> We are finally able to push aside all animosity and negativity and
>>> communicate again, but it's too late to save our marriage. We will save
>>> our special friendship however, and we will still be a key part in each
>>> others' lives, also for the two kids we have together. Poor little
>>> things.
>>>
>>>
>>> I decided to write about this here in Ramva, because our love story
>>> started here and we have long time friends here.
>>>
>>> I gotta tell you, I feel like ****. I have never felt this bad inside.
>>>
>>> Keep us both in your prayers and send us all the luck you can, so we can
>>> get through this and make the best of what we have left.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Rebound girlfriend applications will likely be rejected but who knows.
>>> Send a photo.
>>>
>>> Jan
>>
>> Anyone else out there having a hard time in their relationship, hear my
>> words. Just waiting it out and hoping things to get better on their own
>> and letting time heal things, is not the way. You risk losing it all. Time
>> to act, one of you has to swallow their pride and make an honest approach
>> and talk. Dammit.
>
>
>
> --- news://freenews.netfront.net/ - complaints: ---

Maybe a Christian marriage counselor or any marriage counselor might
help. Try that before giving up.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger!

Maybe a Christian marriage counselor or any marriage counselor might
help. Try that before giving up.

On Apr 4, 12:12*pm, Jan Andersson >
wrote:
> Hi guys.
>
> I am disappointed and endlessly saddened to report that my marriage
> seems to have come to an end. Kidd and I have gone through some tough
> times economically and other external influences like the athmosphere at
> my work has caused both of us to close up and get depressed. Somewhere
> along the way we forgot to be there for one another, or weren't able to
> communicate. She has made the mental decision to break up a long time
> ago, but for me this is new.
>
> Needless to say, I am crushed. I love my wife to no end, and she loves
> me too but more as a friend than a husband. I understand.
> I thought we had something so special between us that nothing could
> break it, but I can't ask any more of her, she has been miserable too
> for a long time, and her faith of things being able to get better has
> died. (Mine has not)
>
> We are finally able to push aside all animosity and negativity and
> communicate again, but it's too late to save our marriage. We will save
> our special friendship however, and we will still be a key part in each
> others' lives, also for the two kids we have together. Poor little things..
>
> I decided to write about this here in Ramva, because our love story
> started here and we have long time friends here.
>
> I gotta tell you, I feel like ****. I have never felt this bad inside.
>
> Keep us both in your prayers and send us all the luck you can, so we can
> get through this and make the best of what we have left.
>
> Rebound girlfriend applications will likely be rejected but who knows.
> Send a photo.
>
> Jan

I’ve been with my wife for 32 years. We’ve been through a lot and on
the verge of breaking up a few times. What I think has brought us
through the tough times was very similar to a scene in The Outlaw
Josey Wales where Eastwood says to “pilgrims” right before the Indian
attack. Basically, when you think it’s over, you have to have
determination. In your case, I would say, even if she walks, live
your life like you promised her when you proposed and on your wedding
day. Be faithful, be a good dad and husband and work for the best for
her even if it means self-sacrifice. Self-sacrifice means to make
positive changes in the way you live your life and relate to her. Be
there when she needs you. Make decisions like the lives of your
family depend on them. I actually think you ought to write down your
feelings, promises and decisions and give them to her. Maybe your
writing skills are better than your verbal skills. I say that because
I see you write on two VW sites. You are a top class person even when
others go to the gutter. In real life, the good guy doesn’t have to
finish last.

Jim Ed wrote:
> Maybe a Christian marriage counselor or any marriage counselor might
> help. Try that before giving up.
> What doesn't kill you makes you stronger!
>


Then I'll be the strongest man alive after this

No room for christian counselor or other type. I asked if she'd talk
with a pastor friend of mine, but no. I'm not very religious although I
do have my own religious faith of sorts, and she's into paganism.
Nothing creepy, just respect for nature and "powers of the universe"
-stuff, much of which I can relate to and agree with.


It may be too early to say but looks like it's really over, and we will
all be also moving to Virginia/DC area and start over there as separated
and divorced, but still in daily contact for the kids. Meant to move up
north anyways long ago anyway.

Robert wrote:
> On Apr 4, 12:12 pm, Jan Andersson >
> wrote:
>> Hi guys.
>>
>> I am disappointed and endlessly saddened to report that my marriage
>> seems to have come to an end. Kidd and I have gone through some tough
>> times economically and other external influences like the athmosphere at
>> my work has caused both of us to close up and get depressed. Somewhere
>> along the way we forgot to be there for one another, or weren't able to
>> communicate. She has made the mental decision to break up a long time
>> ago, but for me this is new.
>>
>> Needless to say, I am crushed. I love my wife to no end, and she loves
>> me too but more as a friend than a husband. I understand.
>> I thought we had something so special between us that nothing could
>> break it, but I can't ask any more of her, she has been miserable too
>> for a long time, and her faith of things being able to get better has
>> died. (Mine has not)
>>
>> We are finally able to push aside all animosity and negativity and
>> communicate again, but it's too late to save our marriage. We will save
>> our special friendship however, and we will still be a key part in each
>> others' lives, also for the two kids we have together. Poor little things.
>>
>> I decided to write about this here in Ramva, because our love story
>> started here and we have long time friends here.
>>
>> I gotta tell you, I feel like ****. I have never felt this bad inside.
>>
>> Keep us both in your prayers and send us all the luck you can, so we can
>> get through this and make the best of what we have left.
>>
>> Rebound girlfriend applications will likely be rejected but who knows.
>> Send a photo.
>>
>> Jan
>
> I’ve been with my wife for 32 years. We’ve been through a lot and on
> the verge of breaking up a few times. What I think has brought us
> through the tough times was very similar to a scene in The Outlaw
> Josey Wales where Eastwood says to “pilgrims” right before the Indian
> attack. Basically, when you think it’s over, you have to have
> determination. In your case, I would say, even if she walks, live
> your life like you promised her when you proposed and on your wedding
> day. Be faithful, be a good dad and husband and work for the best for
> her even if it means self-sacrifice. Self-sacrifice means to make
> positive changes in the way you live your life and relate to her. Be
> there when she needs you. Make decisions like the lives of your
> family depend on them. I actually think you ought to write down your
> feelings, promises and decisions and give them to her. Maybe your
> writing skills are better than your verbal skills. I say that because
> I see you write on two VW sites. You are a top class person even when
> others go to the gutter. In real life, the good guy doesn’t have to
> finish last.


Thank You Robert. I'll write her a letter.
And you are right I guess... many times we have a longer conversation, I
end up saying something stupid that ****es her off and wipes out any
progress I thought I made. Sometimes it's just a misunderstanding, me
not finding the right words. When writing, I can take my time and go at
it calmly and edit the text before "sending"....lol.

And yea, the plan is to be the best dad and friend I can be, not turning
my back on her regardless of her actions. I will continue working on the
positive changes in myself and my surroundings that are in my power to
change and that I have already started.
If nothing else comes out of it, at least I will be a better person.