What I want vs. what the reality could support

Call me a pervert, but I want a V8, around 2.0 liters, AWD layout with
rearward bias and the seats that have lateral support on one
hand and in which you could move in the other. Lack of static
electricity discharges is a plus. Let's see, 55 profile tires for
summer on R15 or R16 and around 60 on R15 or R14 for winter.

Since no such thing exist my heart whispers 325xi, but my wallet tells
me A4 quattro with something motivating it in the 1.6 - 2.4 range.
The former 4 banger being hard to find (also have doubts 1.6 could run
A/C well)
and the latter guzzling quite a lot of gas despite being 2 pots short
of the desired
pot count i might just have to suppress my disdain towards turbo.
Maybe NVH of an audi four bangers is not that bad
though i never heard any raves about their engines.

Looks like A4 is the way to go, primary because (official) bmw
services in this part of urop are ripoffs
and vw services are plentiful. Sigh.

Talk me out of this