What Every Woman Wants! (No, Seriously!)

It's due to the Dexamethasone of course. ('Dexy' to the trade.) Dexy
is one of those horrifically potent steroids that flat EATS cancerous
tumors. Along with everything else, alas. Which is why I've managed
to shed a few pounds, going from a chubbily pleasant 254 to a
cadaverous 171.

I've no way of knowing how much of that 83 pounds consisted of
tumorous tissue. And there at the start, following LAST New Years, I
promised myself it was time to shed a few pounds and did, which got
me into the 230-ish range, at which point I was diagnosed with
multiple myeloma and began the more serious business of chemotherapy,
which whisked away the pounds, along with patches of hair (it's coming
in CURLY, of all things!) and tumorous tissue.

But I now possess what every woman wants: To hear a physician say:
'It's time for you to put ON a few pounds.' And I thought of all the
women I've known without being able to recall a single one of them who
was not wishing just the opposite: to LOSE a few pounds, often with
EXACTLY the same life and death fervor I've felt with regard to the
cancerous tissue which has done such a swell job of digesting my spine
that it actually BROKE... from nothing more than a sneeze or some
other incidental stress. A compression fracture, so damaging that it
would be unwise for me to attempt to lift the amount of weight I've
now lost.

Put that all together -- the fervent ladies wish to lose as I have
lost, then to fracture what I have broken, and you must admit there IS
a certain element of humor... that struck me as the physician
delivered the good news, and I began to laugh. And still haven't
stopped. Not completely. But it certainly scared the hell out of the
doctor.

"Time for you to put ON a few pounds, Chief."

"Aye-aye, sir!"

And I began to laugh. Because it struck me that, whatever else this
cancer has done, it has given me what every woman longs for, as if it
were a topic of polite conversation, suitable for those awkward
moments when strangers are forced to spend a whisp of time together
and a polite smile simply isn't enough, as in the elevator between 1
and 12, or the check-out line at the local supermarket. First, the
friendly smile, then the casual: "I've got what you want," perhaps
with another smile, depending on the lady's physique. Then back to
listening to the elevator music or casually examining the contents of
her shopping cart, my eye peeled for ice cream and Danish.

It gives you a nice boost, knowing you have what they want. Makes you
want to flex your stick-like arms or show your turkey's neck to best
advantage. Yup. Things are definitely looking up. Which is why I'm
still laughing now & then.

-Bob Hoover

Bob Hoover wrote:

> It gives you a nice boost, knowing you have what they want. Makes you
> want to flex your stick-like arms or show your turkey's neck to best
> advantage. Yup. Things are definitely looking up. Which is why I'm
> still laughing now & then.
>
> -Bob Hoover

Bob, I admire your ability to laugh after all you've been thru. You're a
good man, keep fighting and we'll keep you in our thoughts.

Les

>
> It gives you a nice boost, knowing you have what they want. *Makes you
> want to flex your stick-like arms or show your turkey's neck to best
> advantage. *Yup. *Things are definitely looking up. *Which is why I'm
> still laughing now & then.
>
> -Bob Hoover

Bob

1) Your posts continue to be fascinating.

2) I was glad one of our colleagues re-posted your Christmas
Story. That is one of the VW classics.

3) Bad news, Bob, is that I am continuing to change the oil
each week in my 1972 blue Beetle.... and polluting the planet.

Ross Virgin
Toronto, Canada
Eskimoe land, where my Beetle goes
perfectly in the snow.
...
...

"rvirgin22" > wrote in message
...

>
> It gives you a nice boost, knowing you have what they want. Makes you
> want to flex your stick-like arms or show your turkey's neck to best
> advantage. Yup. Things are definitely looking up. Which is why I'm
> still laughing now & then.
>
> -Bob Hoover

Bob

1) Your posts continue to be fascinating.

2) I was glad one of our colleagues re-posted your Christmas
Story. That is one of the VW classics.

3) Bad news, Bob, is that I am continuing to change the oil
each week in my 1972 blue Beetle.... and polluting the planet.

Ross Virgin
Toronto, Canada
Eskimoe land, where my Beetle goes
perfectly in the snow.
...
...


I'm curious as to why you change the oil every week.

--
Scott

rvirgin22 wrote:
>> It gives you a nice boost, knowing you have what they want. Makes you
>> want to flex your stick-like arms or show your turkey's neck to best
>> advantage. Yup. Things are definitely looking up. Which is why I'm
>> still laughing now & then.
>>
>> -Bob Hoover
>
> Bob
>
> 1) Your posts continue to be fascinating.
>
> 2) I was glad one of our colleagues re-posted your Christmas
> Story. That is one of the VW classics.
>
> 3) Bad news, Bob, is that I am continuing to change the oil
> each week in my 1972 blue Beetle.... and polluting the planet.
>
> Ross Virgin
> Toronto, Canada
> Eskimoe land, where my Beetle goes
> perfectly in the snow. <<<<<
And gets slowly eaten by rust :-( I lost 3 really good Beetles to rust
in Toronto.

...
Scott H.

1) I change the oil every week, since clean engine oil is the
single most significant factor, and probably the easiest for a
long engine life (mine 36 years and 120,000 miles).

2) It costs me $ 4.00 and takes only 3 minutes (30 seconds
to pull the plug, then 2 and 1/2 minutes later, to pour in
2 quarts). Impossible to beat. Since I bought the 1972 brand
new from a VW dealer and it is still great 36 years later, I
have followed the same practice now for all 7 Beetles I have,
whenever I decide to put one on the road.

Ross Virgin, Toronto, Canada

Rev. Turd Fredericks

3) No, neither Toronto, nor the snow, nor the salt will "slowly
allow 3 good Beetles to be eaten by rust".

4) Very unfortunate this group cannot accept photos.
However, my 1972 blue Beetle has "not one speck of rust"
--- anywhere, although I bought it brand new, 36 years ago,
and it is driven all winter in Toronto's snow, slush, salt, slime,
through 36 winters.

5) I now have a total of 7 Beetles, none with rust, and all of
which get some driving in Toronto's snow, slush, salt, and
slime.

6) The only cause of a Beetle slowly being eaten by rust is
if the owner fails to oil-spray the undercarriage, door
panels, suspension, bumpers, trim, headlight pots...... and
everywhere a sprayer can blast it in. A $ 20 deck sprayer,
with 2 quarts of oil for $ 4, sprays all 7 Beetles. This is done
3 times a year...... and No rust on any of them. Beetles range
from 1969 to 1974

7) Rev Fredericks, very sad to lose 3 Beetles. All 3 would look
like brand new today... with $ 4 of oil sprayed regularly.

Ross Virgin
proudly driving rust-free, 36-year-old Beetles
in Toronto's snow, slush, salt and slime
...
...
...

>
> > 3) *Bad news, Bob, is that I am continuing to change the oil
> > each week in my 1972 blue Beetle.... and polluting the planet.
>
> > * * *Ross Virgin
> > * * *Toronto, Canada
> > * * *Eskimoe land, where my Beetle goes
> > * * * * * perfectly in the snow. <<<<<
>
> And gets slowly eaten by rust :-( I lost 3 really good Beetles to rust
> in Toronto.- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

rvirgin22 wrote:
> ..
> Scott H.
>
> 1) I change the oil every week, since clean engine oil is the
> single most significant factor, and probably the easiest for a
> long engine life (mine 36 years and 120,000 miles).
>
> 2) It costs me $ 4.00 and takes only 3 minutes (30 seconds
> to pull the plug, then 2 and 1/2 minutes later, to pour in
> 2 quarts). Impossible to beat. Since I bought the 1972 brand
> new from a VW dealer and it is still great 36 years later, I
> have followed the same practice now for all 7 Beetles I have,
> whenever I decide to put one on the road.
>
> Ross Virgin, Toronto, Canada
>
> Rev. Turd Fredericks
>
> 3) No, neither Toronto, nor the snow, nor the salt will "slowly
> allow 3 good Beetles to be eaten by rust".
>
> 4) Very unfortunate this group cannot accept photos.
> However, my 1972 blue Beetle has "not one speck of rust"
> --- anywhere, although I bought it brand new, 36 years ago,
> and it is driven all winter in Toronto's snow, slush, salt, slime,
> through 36 winters.
>
> 5) I now have a total of 7 Beetles, none with rust, and all of
> which get some driving in Toronto's snow, slush, salt, and
> slime.
>
> 6) The only cause of a Beetle slowly being eaten by rust is
> if the owner fails to oil-spray the undercarriage, door
> panels, suspension, bumpers, trim, headlight pots...... and
> everywhere a sprayer can blast it in. A $ 20 deck sprayer,
> with 2 quarts of oil for $ 4, sprays all 7 Beetles. This is done
> 3 times a year...... and No rust on any of them. Beetles range
> from 1969 to 1974
>
> 7) Rev Fredericks, very sad to lose 3 Beetles. All 3 would look
> like brand new today... with $ 4 of oil sprayed regularly.
>
> Ross Virgin
> proudly driving rust-free, 36-year-old Beetles
> in Toronto's snow, slush, salt and slime

By the time I got them they were at least 10-12 years old. After my
first one rusted, I had the second oil sprayed, but I'm afraid it was
just too late, the process had already begun. The 3rd was my wife's
(then girlfriend), same story, had it sprayed, but it didn't do any good.

"rvirgin22" > wrote in message
...
...
> Scott H.

> 1) I change the oil every week, since clean engine oil is the
> single most significant factor, and probably the easiest for a
> long engine life (mine 36 years and 120,000 miles).

So, on average, you've changed the oil in your '72 every 64.1 miles,
correct?

--
Scott

Scott H wrote:
> "rvirgin22" > wrote in message
> ...
> ..
>> Scott H.
>
>> 1) I change the oil every week, since clean engine oil is the
>> single most significant factor, and probably the easiest for a
>> long engine life (mine 36 years and 120,000 miles).
>
> So, on average, you've changed the oil in your '72 every 64.1 miles,
> correct?
>


Install oil filter, and replace drain plug with a ball valve for quick
oil changes

Have you considered a bolt on oil filter kit?

> 3) �Bad news, Bob, is that I am continuing to change the oil
> each week in my 1972 blue Beetle.... and polluting the planet.
>
> � � �Ross Virgin
> � � �Toronto, Canada
> � � �Eskimoe land, where my Beetle goes
> � � � � � perfectly in the snow.
> ..
> ..