God is Crazy

On Jun 13, 1:42 am, RVG > wrote:
> His Highness the TibetanMonkey, the Beach Cruiser Philosopher a écrit :
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> > On Jun 12, 2:01 am, > wrote:
> >> His Highness the TibetanMonkey, the Beach Cruiser Philosopher a écrit :
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> >>> And the reason is that the creation of the Universe was too much for
> >>> him. Even my wisdom based on the laws of nature is small before the
> >>> knowledge required to create everything. Why he made the mosquitoes
> >>> when Adam and Eve were naked?
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> >>> Christians don't even try to make sense out of it, so that's how deep
> >>> it is. They are told to pray and wait for Armageddon, which is the
> >>> ultimate madness to be created by God.
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> >>> Amen.
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> >> God is depressed: one day he got the velleity to make a sort of
> >> universe. It happened to be full of fail (because it was primarily made
> >> of fail and WTF, that's why), so God went on Prozac and since then the
> >> world's been a complete mess.
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> > Well, that makes sense. But the reason why he was depressed is that
> > he's been ALONE FOREVER before he created the Universe.
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> > As anyone would imagine that's terribly depressing. I'm surprised he
> > didn't make a goddess for himself instead of Satan.
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> He did. But soon the wife turned out to be Satan (Bitch would waste His
> days ranting and moaning while He was just trying to listen to some good
> jazz).
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> More fail => more WTF => oceans of Prozac.
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> So God's last word was "****!", as reported by His last prophet Stanley
> Kubrick at the very end of his last prophecy.

Yeah, I had a wife like that too. When we got married she thought he
owned me and this spelled rebellion.

This Satan-wife fits the profile of the male chauvinists who wrote the
Bible and I'm perfectly OK with it. Or maybe Satan was one of those
"HE-SHE'S" you see around...

http://www.moonbattery.com/archives/...k-N-Furter.jpg

If Satan were a pervert that's the worst accusation we'd have against
him, lacking other charges. Do we have any charges against Satan? Did
he start a war for no good reason or something?

On Jun 12, 7:56 pm, "SFD" > wrote:
> "His Highness the TibetanMonkey, the Beach Cruiser > wrote in message
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> > Why he made the mosquitoes
> > when Adam and Eve were naked?
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> For a bit of fun, to watch them jump.
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> If you read the bible intensly, you will find that by him watching that
> couple jump every time a mozzy bit them, he developed the mechanism to
> create the monkey. He did things in steps over 40 days and nights. He never
> slept. Some scholars suspect that the lack of sleep caused the faulty design
> of the world, especially in the design of christianity. Some scholars
> believe he could not sleep due to his excessive use of marijuana.
> Others again are of the understanding that Adams dick was created be a
> mosquito bite. Eve was so ****ed off by his rather inadequate dick that she
> ran off with the snake!

Another version says the snake spoke this way, "Eve, I'm cold and I
need a cave to stay warm!" And Eve, innocently, let the snake into the
only place it was nice and warm.

Of course, God though of this as a perversion and doomed humanity.

> There is a school of thought that believe Eve tried to sew the snake onto
> Adam thereby creating his dick. God saw this and was pleased. "Ho-Ho-Ho" he
> laughed jovially. That is how Santa Clause came about. Without this taking
> place there would be no christmas, the little kids would get no presents,
> nobody would be buying christmas presents, the shops and factories would
> close down. Everybody would be out of work, and so it would have gone on.
> So, it was very clever of god to create the mosquito when Adam and Eve were
> naked, by doing that he has saved so many jobs!

Yeah, Santa gives jobs to millions of Chinese and store clerks...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ypgs2s3lEzs

Thank God for that.