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RAMVA's Greatest Hits: 'You might be a V-Dub Redneck' (part 1)
On Saturday, July 21, 2001 12:05:33 AM UTC-5, Doppelkabine wrote:
> More humor for the weekend: a couple years back, there was a thread on > RAMVA based on Jeff Foxworthy's 'You might be a redneck if...' For > those who missed it, here is part 1 of a collection of the best > responses in that thread. > > You might be a V-Dub redneck if: > > 1. VWoA is suing you for copyright infringement over your tattoos. > 2. You just installed your new floorpans with pop rivets. > 3. Your engine is installed in the front of your Bug. > 4. Your Fahrvergnuegen sticker is spelled wrong. > 5. Your dogs become homeless when you drive the Kombi to work. > 6. You refer to your VW as a 'V-Dub'. > 7. Your 23-Window Deluxe's valve covers say 'Powered by Ford' on them. > 8. Your MIG welder is still worth more than your Oval, even AFTER the > restoration. > 9. You have a confederate-themed mural painted on the side of your > panelvan. > 10. You wear your 'Original Recipe' T-shirt to church. > 11. You can read the left turn arrows in the pavement from the holes in > your floorpan, because they are larger than the Grand Canyon. > 12. You just installed a 'phat' $2000 stereo, but you use a string > because your accelerator cable is broken. > 13. You say "who needs door hinges when coat hangers are readily > available?" > 14. You think that the steel belts coming out of your tires mean that > they are just now getting broken in. > 15. You think that a headliner is the plastic bag you duct-taped over > the sunroof to keep the rain out. > 16. You pour Jack Daniels in the window washer bottle to help with > engine cooling. (?) > 17. You and your good old buddies go out to kick some butt, because > someone stole the engine out of the front of your Bug. > 18. You drive your Bus to the recycling center and get enough money from > all the beer cans in the back that you cashed in, to buy a new VW sign > for the nose. > 19. You have to re-crank your VW at every intersection. > 20. The value of your VW doubles when you put gas in. > 21. You spent more money at RMMW than you did on the car and still can't > put it on the street. > 22. You actually enjoy listening to the single-speaker, analog-dialed > Sapphire radio while driving your VW. > 23. You leave your parking brake up three or four clicks to make the > brake pedal stiffer. > 24. You are heading home in the car with 3 or 4 girls, and hit the > brakes to look at a Beetle you see for sale in a parking lot. > 25. You've ever done your Christmas shopping from the West Coast Metric > catalog. > 26. You go to the drag races at the VW show and you don't need a > program. > 27. Less than half the VWs you own run. > 28. The primary color of your daily driver is 'bondo'. > 29. No one wants to steal your daily driver or even brush up against it. > 30. You know how many bales of hay your Kombi can hold. > 31. Your kids are going hungry tonight because you had to buy those > mudflaps at the Bug-a-rama. > 32. You've ever lost a tooth from a slipped tool while working on your > VW. > 33. You've been missing two pieces of chrome trim for more than a > year...but you left in the mounting clips. > 34. You have a restoration project that makes liberal use of duct tape. > 35. Your house doesn't have curtains but your Westfalia does. > > -- > Chris Hobbs and family, Leesburg VA > '67 Type 2 DoubleCab (stock) > two '74 412 wagons > '79 Beetle cabriolet > > To reply, please remove the "NOSPAMs" from my address. I started that thread back in the newsgroups days when your modem still made that noise. |
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