A New Category of Sloth

We have already identified several categories of Sloth, including

* Sloth Mergers, the doddering ninnies who take the on-ramp at 45 MPH

* Sloth Coasters, the guys who take their foot off the gas whenever
they see a red light (or even a "stale green") somewhere before the
horizon

* Sloth Passers, the pricks who get into the passing lane and procees
to "pass" the other vehicle with a 0.001 MPH speed differential,
causing the pass to last forever

* Sloth Speeders, the Sloths who accelerate like molasses in January
but keep right on accelerating; eventually, if they have enough
running room, they will get up to 80 MPH

And now there are Sloth Spoilers, the assholes who sit right next to
you and match the speed of the Sloth in front of you, preventing you
from changing into the wide open lane in front of the SS and escaping
the trap. To escape their clutches, you have to slow down to a speed
even lower than the SS, change lanes behind him twice, and then punch
it - that's assuming you have at least 3 traffic lanes with which to
work. If there are only 2 lanes, you're screwed.

Of all the different kinds of Sloth, I think I hate the Sloth Spoilers
the most.

In article >, newsgroup says:

>And now there are Sloth Spoilers, the assholes who sit right next to
>you and match the speed of the Sloth in front of you, preventing you
>from changing into the wide open lane in front of the SS and escaping
>the trap.

Don't you HATE these people?! I think its yet another case of "never
attribute to malice what's best charged to stupidity"; I think they're
so ingrained to follow along with the herd they don't realize what
they're doing.

-Kenny

--
Kenneth R. Crudup Sr. SW Engineer, Scott County Consulting, Los Angeles
H: 3630 S. Sepulveda Blvd. #138, L.A., CA 90034-6809 (310) 391-1898

> "never attribute to malice what's best charged to stupidity"

Yep: Sloth Thinkers -- the least common denominator of most of the
problems on the roads.

--Joe

On Fri, 9 Dec 2005 04:12:24 +0000 (UTC), (Kenneth
Crudup) wrote:

>In article >, newsgroup says:
>
>>And now there are Sloth Spoilers, the assholes who sit right next to
>>you and match the speed of the Sloth in front of you, preventing you
>>from changing into the wide open lane in front of the SS and escaping
>>the trap.
>
>Don't you HATE these people?! I think its yet another case of "never
>attribute to malice what's best charged to stupidity"; I think they're
>so ingrained to follow along with the herd they don't realize what
>they're doing.
>
> -Kenny

Sometimes, but a lot of times they actually make an effort to match
increases and decreases in speed. That is not the mark of someone who
is following along, as those people can't adapt quick enough to match
speeds with someone who slows down or speeds up.

Kenneth Crudup wrote:
> In article >, newsgroup says:
>
> >And now there are Sloth Spoilers, the assholes who sit right next to
> >you and match the speed of the Sloth in front of you, preventing you
> >from changing into the wide open lane in front of the SS and escaping
> >the trap.
>
> Don't you HATE these people?! I think its yet another case of "never
> attribute to malice what's best charged to stupidity"; I think they're
> so ingrained to follow along with the herd they don't realize what
> they're doing.
>
> -Kenny
>
> --
> Kenneth R. Crudup Sr. SW Engineer, Scott County Consulting, Los Angeles
> H: 3630 S. Sepulveda Blvd. #138, L.A., CA 90034-6809 (310) 391-1898

Yep. Had one last night. Congested traffic, parked in the left lane
(only two lanes available). Late night. Could see brakes lighting up
ahead and traffic switching. Finally caught up and there he is parked
out there. Stayed there for 10 miles and as I was tired I didn't try
to get around, just slowed it down by 2mph and lived with it. Couldn't
tell if anyone had lit him up.

Harry K

Scott en Aztlán wrote: <brevity snip>
> We have already identified several categories of Sloth, including
-----

You've identified categories of Sloth but never defined the term
itself. From context it seems "anyone driving slower than you and/or
anyone in front of you". Would that be correct?
-----

- gpsman

In article .com>, gpsman wrote:
> Scott en Aztlán wrote: <brevity snip>
>> We have already identified several categories of Sloth, including
> -----
>
> You've identified categories of Sloth but never defined the term
> itself. From context it seems "anyone driving slower than you and/or
> anyone in front of you". Would that be correct?

Here's mine: Someone who makes a certain driving move or drives slower
than I would on a bicycle (including rate of acceleration) or someone
who is blocking the natural flow of traffic with their slower than
normal speed of driving in an inappropiate lane for that speed.

Another catagory of sloth is someone who drives a compartitively powerful
automobile but gets less performance out of it than I got out of the
torqueless wonder car or my 1973 maverick. For instance, someone who
merges on to an interstate with a 200+hp car at 35mph is sloth.

On Fri, 09 Dec 2005 00:08:11 -0600,
(Brent P) wrote:

>> You've identified categories of Sloth but never defined the term
>> itself.
>
>Here's mine: Someone who makes a certain driving move or drives slower
>than I would on a bicycle (including rate of acceleration) or someone
>who is blocking the natural flow of traffic with their slower than
>normal speed of driving in an inappropiate lane for that speed.

I would agree with this definition.

Here in SoCal, we have beattiful six-lane roads with 55 MPH speed
limits - and a bunch of MORON SLOTHS who never make it up beyond 35 or
40 MPH. For example, the Sloth Coasters let off the gas because they
see a red light a half-mile away (never realizing it is impossible to
"time" a sensor-controlled traffic signal, and that the sooner a
vehicle arrives at the sensor loop the sooner the light will change).

Unfortunately, lack of consideration seems to go hand-in-hand with
Sloth. If these people gave a **** about anyone but themselves, they
would confine their Sloth behavior to the appropriate lane and/or take
reasonable steps to avoid needlessly blocking other traffic. But you
almost never see this kind of genuine courtesy on the roads; what you
see instead is a Sloth Merger demanding "courtesy" from everyone else,
expecting to be "let in" when they try to merge into a 75 MPH traffic
stream at 40 MPH.

In article >,
Scott en Aztlán <newsgroup> wrote:
>Here in SoCal, we have beattiful six-lane roads with 55 MPH speed
>limits - and a bunch of MORON SLOTHS who never make it up beyond 35 or
>40 MPH. For example, the Sloth Coasters let off the gas because they
>see a red light a half-mile away (never realizing it is impossible to
>"time" a sensor-controlled traffic signal, and that the sooner a
>vehicle arrives at the sensor loop the sooner the light will change).

Many sensor controlled signals are combination timer and sensor, at
least during heavy traffic times. They go by a fixed schedule, often
in sync with other lights on the roads, but will skip a phase if there
is nothing on the sensor. So getting to the sensor sooner won't help
unless it was just about time for the green phase to occur if something
was sensed.

There will usually be a "default green" direction (the larger street)
that the lights will switch to if nothing is seen on the other sensors.

Some sensors are only present at the front of the lane, while some
intersections have them placed further back.

Obviously, coasting or not coasting to a light that just turned red
depends on how the signals are controlled (and whether you are on the
road that get the "default green"), and whether there is already
traffic ahead stopped or stopping on the sensor.

Some places have pedestrian lights with countdowns. If these are
visible, then they can be used to tell how long the remaining green
time is, so that you can know if you'll make it.

Of course, familiarity with the roads and signals helps. But many
drivers probably pay too little attention to driving to notice how
things are on the roads that the drive on every day.

--
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Timothy J. Lee
Unsolicited bulk or commercial email is not welcome.
No warranty of any kind is provided with this message.

Scott en Aztlán wrote:
> We have already identified several categories of Sloth, including
>
> * Sloth Mergers, the doddering ninnies who take the on-ramp at 45 MPH
>
> * Sloth Coasters, the guys who take their foot off the gas whenever
> they see a red light (or even a "stale green") somewhere before the
> horizon
>
> * Sloth Passers, the pricks who get into the passing lane and procees
> to "pass" the other vehicle with a 0.001 MPH speed differential,
> causing the pass to last forever
>
> * Sloth Speeders, the Sloths who accelerate like molasses in January
> but keep right on accelerating; eventually, if they have enough
> running room, they will get up to 80 MPH
>
> And now there are Sloth Spoilers, the assholes who sit right next to
> you and match the speed of the Sloth in front of you, preventing you
> from changing into the wide open lane in front of the SS and escaping
> the trap. To escape their clutches, you have to slow down to a speed
> even lower than the SS, change lanes behind him twice, and then punch
> it - that's assuming you have at least 3 traffic lanes with which to
> work. If there are only 2 lanes, you're screwed.
>
> Of all the different kinds of Sloth, I think I hate the Sloth Spoilers
> the most.

One of the great things about being a slow driver is i'm never bothered
by all this little stuff that is driving you to an early grave.
HAHAHAHAHAHA