MFFY and assault with a deadly weapon

A couple days ago I was driving down a state road. Speed limit is 55.
There was a minivan in front that was doing about 40MPh. So when I
could, I passed him. As soon as I pulled out I realized the issue was
the idiot in front of him. Well, I could have passed both, but I
chose to merge between them instead, as there was plenty of room. I
waited for oncoming traffic to get there, and to then clear. Idiot is
still doing no more than 45.

Here is where it gets interesting.

Once traffic cleared, I then moved out to pass the idiot. Mind you,
idiot is driving one of those small Ranger type pick up trucks, loaded
with all kinds of construction equipment. Surprisingly, idiot somehow
manages to make it accelerate as I pass.

Assault with a deadly weapon...

Well, there is traffic coming the other way, so I just give it a
little more gas. I still have not even down shifted. I move in front
of idiot, now doing about 60 to 65.

Idiot decides to flash his lights and flip me off. Well, there must
be something wrong with my brake lights, because I see him lock up his
brakes, and I watch as he spills the coffee he has in one hand, all
over himself. I watch as he yells, curses, and genuinely has a bad
day. I watch as idiot's boyfriend grabs something to try to help
idiot stop the burning sensation.

It was quite enjoyable.

Now, that would be the end of it, but idiot decides to now try to
"catch me" as I am ahead of him doing about 60. I laugh as I see his
truck inch closer to me, from about 5 car lengths back to about 4.5
car lengths back. I give it a little more gas, and get up to about
61. Idiot seems to be upset, as he can't get any closer, and so I
figure something must be wrong. I then pull out the cell phone and
call the local police, or at least what we pretend is the police.
They don't actually ever do anything worthwhile.

A couple miles down the road, idiot signals, comes to a stop in the
middle of the road, and flashes his lights as he is about to turn. I
signal to him that I see him, and tell him to have a great day. Just
before a semi rear ends him he manages to move out of the way.

Such an enjoyable time for all. Maybe I will luck out and see him
again. If so, I can ask him how much it cost to have the skin
repaired on his tiny little dick from the coffee burns.

Ladies and Gentlemen (and I use those words loosely), DTJ said in
rec.autos.driving:
> Idiot decides to flash his lights and flip me off. Well, there must
> be something wrong with my brake lights, because I see him lock up his
> brakes, and I watch as he spills the coffee he has in one hand, all
> over himself. I watch as he yells, curses, and genuinely has a bad
> day. I watch as idiot's boyfriend grabs something to try to help
> idiot stop the burning sensation.

ROTFL! Thanks for the laugh.

--
--

"There's not a shred of evidence that the jerries murdered anything
close to 7 million jooz. Another monstrous lie just like the 9-11
official story. "

-- Laura Bush murdered her boyfriend, 12/01/2004
Ref: http://tinyurl.com/9oog5
Message-ID: >

DTJ wrote:
> A couple days ago I was driving down a state road. Speed limit is 55.
> There was a minivan in front that was doing about 40MPh. So when I
> could, I passed him. As soon as I pulled out I realized the issue was
> the idiot in front of him. Well, I could have passed both, but I
> chose to merge between them instead, as there was plenty of room. I
> waited for oncoming traffic to get there, and to then clear. Idiot is
> still doing no more than 45.
>
> Here is where it gets interesting.
>
> Once traffic cleared, I then moved out to pass the idiot. Mind you,
> idiot is driving one of those small Ranger type pick up trucks, loaded
> with all kinds of construction equipment. Surprisingly, idiot somehow
> manages to make it accelerate as I pass.
>
> Assault with a deadly weapon...
>
> Well, there is traffic coming the other way, so I just give it a
> little more gas. I still have not even down shifted. I move in front
> of idiot, now doing about 60 to 65.
>
> Idiot decides to flash his lights and flip me off. Well, there must
> be something wrong with my brake lights, because I see him lock up his
> brakes, and I watch as he spills the coffee he has in one hand, all
> over himself. I watch as he yells, curses, and genuinely has a bad
> day. I watch as idiot's boyfriend grabs something to try to help
> idiot stop the burning sensation.
>
> It was quite enjoyable.
>
> Now, that would be the end of it, but idiot decides to now try to
> "catch me" as I am ahead of him doing about 60. I laugh as I see his
> truck inch closer to me, from about 5 car lengths back to about 4.5
> car lengths back. I give it a little more gas, and get up to about
> 61. Idiot seems to be upset, as he can't get any closer, and so I
> figure something must be wrong. I then pull out the cell phone and
> call the local police, or at least what we pretend is the police.
> They don't actually ever do anything worthwhile.
>
> A couple miles down the road, idiot signals, comes to a stop in the
> middle of the road, and flashes his lights as he is about to turn. I
> signal to him that I see him, and tell him to have a great day. Just
> before a semi rear ends him he manages to move out of the way.
>
> Such an enjoyable time for all. Maybe I will luck out and see him
> again. If so, I can ask him how much it cost to have the skin
> repaired on his tiny little dick from the coffee burns.

ROTFL!!!! This will allow me to handle my commute in northern Missouri
with a bit more humor.

DTJ wrote:
> idiot is driving one of those small Ranger type pick up trucks, loaded
> with all kinds of construction equipment.

> Idiot decides to flash his lights and flip me off. Well, there must
> be something wrong with my brake lights, because I see him lock up his
> brakes, and I watch as he spills the coffee he has in one hand, all
> over himself.

I wouldn't brake check a loaded POS pickup. Most likely the driver
doesnt have insurance and/or is an illegal.