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RAMVA's Greatest Hits: 'You might be a V-Dub Redneck' (part 1)



 
 
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Old October 11th 14, 02:36 PM posted to rec.autos.makers.vw.aircooled
verdigo
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Default RAMVA's Greatest Hits: 'You might be a V-Dub Redneck' (part 1)

On Saturday, July 21, 2001 12:05:33 AM UTC-5, Doppelkabine wrote:
> More humor for the weekend: a couple years back, there was a thread on
> RAMVA based on Jeff Foxworthy's 'You might be a redneck if...' For
> those who missed it, here is part 1 of a collection of the best
> responses in that thread.
>
> You might be a V-Dub redneck if:
>
> 1. VWoA is suing you for copyright infringement over your tattoos.
> 2. You just installed your new floorpans with pop rivets.
> 3. Your engine is installed in the front of your Bug.
> 4. Your Fahrvergnuegen sticker is spelled wrong.
> 5. Your dogs become homeless when you drive the Kombi to work.
> 6. You refer to your VW as a 'V-Dub'.
> 7. Your 23-Window Deluxe's valve covers say 'Powered by Ford' on them.
> 8. Your MIG welder is still worth more than your Oval, even AFTER the
> restoration.
> 9. You have a confederate-themed mural painted on the side of your
> panelvan.
> 10. You wear your 'Original Recipe' T-shirt to church.
> 11. You can read the left turn arrows in the pavement from the holes in
> your floorpan, because they are larger than the Grand Canyon.
> 12. You just installed a 'phat' $2000 stereo, but you use a string
> because your accelerator cable is broken.
> 13. You say "who needs door hinges when coat hangers are readily
> available?"
> 14. You think that the steel belts coming out of your tires mean that
> they are just now getting broken in.
> 15. You think that a headliner is the plastic bag you duct-taped over
> the sunroof to keep the rain out.
> 16. You pour Jack Daniels in the window washer bottle to help with
> engine cooling. (?)
> 17. You and your good old buddies go out to kick some butt, because
> someone stole the engine out of the front of your Bug.
> 18. You drive your Bus to the recycling center and get enough money from
> all the beer cans in the back that you cashed in, to buy a new VW sign
> for the nose.
> 19. You have to re-crank your VW at every intersection.
> 20. The value of your VW doubles when you put gas in.
> 21. You spent more money at RMMW than you did on the car and still can't
> put it on the street.
> 22. You actually enjoy listening to the single-speaker, analog-dialed
> Sapphire radio while driving your VW.
> 23. You leave your parking brake up three or four clicks to make the
> brake pedal stiffer.
> 24. You are heading home in the car with 3 or 4 girls, and hit the
> brakes to look at a Beetle you see for sale in a parking lot.
> 25. You've ever done your Christmas shopping from the West Coast Metric
> catalog.
> 26. You go to the drag races at the VW show and you don't need a
> program.
> 27. Less than half the VWs you own run.
> 28. The primary color of your daily driver is 'bondo'.
> 29. No one wants to steal your daily driver or even brush up against it.
> 30. You know how many bales of hay your Kombi can hold.
> 31. Your kids are going hungry tonight because you had to buy those
> mudflaps at the Bug-a-rama.
> 32. You've ever lost a tooth from a slipped tool while working on your
> VW.
> 33. You've been missing two pieces of chrome trim for more than a
> year...but you left in the mounting clips.
> 34. You have a restoration project that makes liberal use of duct tape.
> 35. Your house doesn't have curtains but your Westfalia does.
>
> --
> Chris Hobbs and family, Leesburg VA
> '67 Type 2 DoubleCab (stock)
> two '74 412 wagons
> '79 Beetle cabriolet
>
> To reply, please remove the "NOSPAMs" from my address.


I started that thread back in the newsgroups days when your modem still made that noise.
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