bad times for Jan and Kidd

Hey Jan:

Sorry to hear this news. Hopefully you two can work things out. I
remember back around 1999 when you and Kidd met and fell in love on
Ramva. If my memory serves me like it should, you were visiting
Florida for the Year 2000 New Year. Remember that one when everyone
thought the computers would go crazy at midnight. If there is
anything I can do or you need to talk to someone, drop me an e mail
and let me know.

Bill B.


On Apr 4, 2:12*pm, Jan Andersson >
wrote:
> Hi guys.
>
> I am disappointed and endlessly saddened to report that my marriage
> seems to have come to an end. Kidd and I have gone through some tough
> times economically and other external influences like the athmosphere at
> my work has caused both of us to close up and get depressed. Somewhere
> along the way we forgot to be there for one another, or weren't able to
> communicate. She has made the mental decision to break up a long time
> ago, but for me this is new.
>
> Needless to say, I am crushed. I love my wife to no end, and she loves
> me too but more as a friend than a husband. I understand.
> I thought we had something so special between us that nothing could
> break it, but I can't ask any more of her, she has been miserable too
> for a long time, and her faith of things being able to get better has
> died. (Mine has not)
>
> We are finally able to push aside all animosity and negativity and
> communicate again, but it's too late to save our marriage. We will save
> our special friendship however, and we will still be a key part in each
> others' lives, also for the two kids we have together. Poor little things..
>
> I decided to write about this here in Ramva, because our love story
> started here and we have long time friends here.
>
> I gotta tell you, I feel like ****. I have never felt this bad inside.
>
> Keep us both in your prayers and send us all the luck you can, so we can
> get through this and make the best of what we have left.
>
> Rebound girlfriend applications will likely be rejected but who knows.
> Send a photo.
>
> Jan

On Sun, 04 Apr 2010 20:12:30 +0200, Jan Andersson
> wrote:

> Hi guys.
>
>
> I am disappointed and endlessly saddened to report that my marriage
> seems to have come to an end. Kidd and I have gone through some tough
> times economically and other external influences like the athmosphere at
> my work has caused both of us to close up and get depressed. Somewhere
> along the way we forgot to be there for one another, or weren't able to
> communicate. She has made the mental decision to break up a long time
> ago, but for me this is new.
>
> Needless to say, I am crushed. I love my wife to no end, and she loves
> me too but more as a friend than a husband. I understand.
> I thought we had something so special between us that nothing could
> break it, but I can't ask any more of her, she has been miserable too
> for a long time, and her faith of things being able to get better has
> died. (Mine has not)
>
> We are finally able to push aside all animosity and negativity and
> communicate again, but it's too late to save our marriage. We will save
> our special friendship however, and we will still be a key part in each
> others' lives, also for the two kids we have together. Poor little
> things.
>
>
> I decided to write about this here in Ramva, because our love story
> started here and we have long time friends here.
>
> I gotta tell you, I feel like ****. I have never felt this bad inside.
>
> Keep us both in your prayers and send us all the luck you can, so we can
> get through this and make the best of what we have left.
>
>
>
> Rebound girlfriend applications will likely be rejected but who knows.
> Send a photo.
>
> Jan




You have my sympathy Jan.
Sorry to say I have seen this a long time coming from her posts on F.B.

My best wishes.

Jørn

--
Using Opera's revolutionary e-mail client: http://www.opera.com/mail/

I agree with Robert!
Write more letters from your heart!
JMHO
One out of many daves


"Robert" > wrote in message

I’ve been with my wife for 32 years. We’ve been through a lot and on
the verge of breaking up a few times. What I think has brought us
through the tough times was very similar to a scene in The Outlaw
Josey Wales where Eastwood says to “pilgrims” right before the Indian
attack. Basically, when you think it’s over, you have to have
determination. In your case, I would say, even if she walks, live
your life like you promised her when you proposed and on your wedding
day. Be faithful, be a good dad and husband and work for the best for
her even if it means self-sacrifice. Self-sacrifice means to make
positive changes in the way you live your life and relate to her. Be
there when she needs you. Make decisions like the lives of your
family depend on them. I actually think you ought to write down your
feelings, promises and decisions and give them to her. Maybe your
writing skills are better than your verbal skills. I say that because
I see you write on two VW sites. You are a top class person even when
others go to the gutter. In real life, the good guy doesn’t have to
finish last.



--- news://freenews.netfront.net/ - complaints: ---

Beating yourself up won't work either. It takes 2 to tango in good times and
bad.
Andy
(almost 20 years of "bliss")

"Jan" > wrote in message
...
> P.J.Berg wrote:
>> On Sun, 04 Apr 2010 20:12:30 +0200, Jan Andersson
>> > wrote:
>>
>>> Hi guys.
>>>
>>>
>>> I am disappointed and endlessly saddened to report that my marriage
>>> seems to have come to an end. Kidd and I have gone through some tough
>>> times economically and other external influences like the athmosphere at
>>> my work has caused both of us to close up and get depressed. Somewhere
>>> along the way we forgot to be there for one another, or weren't able to
>>> communicate. She has made the mental decision to break up a long time
>>> ago, but for me this is new.
>>>
>>> Needless to say, I am crushed. I love my wife to no end, and she loves
>>> me too but more as a friend than a husband. I understand.
>>> I thought we had something so special between us that nothing could
>>> break it, but I can't ask any more of her, she has been miserable too
>>> for a long time, and her faith of things being able to get better has
>>> died. (Mine has not)
>>>
>>> We are finally able to push aside all animosity and negativity and
>>> communicate again, but it's too late to save our marriage. We will save
>>> our special friendship however, and we will still be a key part in each
>>> others' lives, also for the two kids we have together. Poor little
>>> things.
>>>
>>>
>>> I decided to write about this here in Ramva, because our love story
>>> started here and we have long time friends here.
>>>
>>> I gotta tell you, I feel like ****. I have never felt this bad inside.
>>>
>>> Keep us both in your prayers and send us all the luck you can, so we can
>>> get through this and make the best of what we have left.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Rebound girlfriend applications will likely be rejected but who knows.
>>> Send a photo.
>>>
>>> Jan
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> You have my sympathy Jan.
>> Sorry to say I have seen this a long time coming from her posts on F.B.
>>
>> My best wishes.
>>
>> Jørn
>>
>
>
> Yea I have seen it too, but things were so sour between us I was not able
> to approach her. I don't blame her, but you know any attempt to get close
> or talk resulted in my head being in danger of being bitten off.
>
> Then again, I should have tried harder, and a long, long time ago.
> Time does not heal these things on its own. Waiting it out won't work. You
> gotta do something and swallow your pride. Hindsight 20-20...

P.J.Berg wrote:
> On Sun, 04 Apr 2010 20:12:30 +0200, Jan Andersson
> > wrote:
>
>> Hi guys.
>>
>>
>> I am disappointed and endlessly saddened to report that my marriage
>> seems to have come to an end. Kidd and I have gone through some tough
>> times economically and other external influences like the athmosphere
>> at my work has caused both of us to close up and get depressed.
>> Somewhere along the way we forgot to be there for one another, or
>> weren't able to communicate. She has made the mental decision to break
>> up a long time ago, but for me this is new.
>>
>> Needless to say, I am crushed. I love my wife to no end, and she loves
>> me too but more as a friend than a husband. I understand.
>> I thought we had something so special between us that nothing could
>> break it, but I can't ask any more of her, she has been miserable too
>> for a long time, and her faith of things being able to get better has
>> died. (Mine has not)
>>
>> We are finally able to push aside all animosity and negativity and
>> communicate again, but it's too late to save our marriage. We will
>> save our special friendship however, and we will still be a key part
>> in each others' lives, also for the two kids we have together. Poor
>> little things.
>>
>>
>> I decided to write about this here in Ramva, because our love story
>> started here and we have long time friends here.
>>
>> I gotta tell you, I feel like ****. I have never felt this bad inside.
>>
>> Keep us both in your prayers and send us all the luck you can, so we
>> can get through this and make the best of what we have left.
>>
>>
>>
>> Rebound girlfriend applications will likely be rejected but who knows.
>> Send a photo.
>>
>> Jan
>
>
>
>
> You have my sympathy Jan.
> Sorry to say I have seen this a long time coming from her posts on F.B.
>
> My best wishes.
>
> Jørn
>


Yea I have seen it too, but things were so sour between us I was not
able to approach her. I don't blame her, but you know any attempt to get
close or talk resulted in my head being in danger of being bitten off.

Then again, I should have tried harder, and a long, long time ago.
Time does not heal these things on its own. Waiting it out won't work.
You gotta do something and swallow your pride. Hindsight 20-20...

From personal experience it took me 10 years to become any kind of
friends with my ex. I'd say that with the friendly break up, the door
is probably open on maybe... Review the stupid things you've done
(don't think about what she's done that's for her to figure out) then
sometime when you're having friendly conversation bring them up and tell
her you were sorry for these things. Don't push it and don't try too
soon. At the very worst it will make you better friends. As guys we
tend gloss over our mistakes and not talk about them and women tend to
take this as arrogance. It's OK to say you were wrong and apologize.

Tony

On 4/6/2010 5:18 PM, Jan wrote:
>
>
> Guys,
>
> I thank you for your support through all of this.
> We have been able to talk a lot more and clear things up.
> It really is over, there is no chance of going back. What the future
> brings somewhere down the line, nobody knows. We were able to save an
> amazing friendship and respect for one another, and we can pretty much
> agree on everything. She is helping me a lot, and her being emotionally
> so far ahead of me in the process, helps the situation. I'm a little
> lost and freaking out sometimes, but she's there to tell me what's what.
> Isn't that something, who has heard of a divorce like that?!?!
>
> But no, it does not leave room for "maybe", if you were thinking that.
>
> In the middle of all this, I can consider myself extremely lucky that
> it's her and not anyone else. I have watched and heard plenty of
> divorces turn ugly.
>
> Jan
>
>
> dave AKA vwdoc1 wrote:
>> I agree with Robert!
>> Write more letters from your heart!
>> JMHO
>> One out of many daves
>>
>>
>> "Robert" > wrote in message
>>
>> I’ve been with my wife for 32 years. We’ve been through a lot and on
>> the verge of breaking up a few times. What I think has brought us
>> through the tough times was very similar to a scene in The Outlaw
>> Josey Wales where Eastwood says to “pilgrims” right before the Indian
>> attack. Basically, when you think it’s over, you have to have
>> determination. In your case, I would say, even if she walks, live
>> your life like you promised her when you proposed and on your wedding
>> day. Be faithful, be a good dad and husband and work for the best for
>> her even if it means self-sacrifice. Self-sacrifice means to make
>> positive changes in the way you live your life and relate to her. Be
>> there when she needs you. Make decisions like the lives of your
>> family depend on them. I actually think you ought to write down your
>> feelings, promises and decisions and give them to her. Maybe your
>> writing skills are better than your verbal skills. I say that because
>> I see you write on two VW sites. You are a top class person even when
>> others go to the gutter. In real life, the good guy doesn’t have to
>> finish last.
>>
>>
>> --- news://freenews.netfront.net/ - complaints: ---

Congrats on the new job. I remember how great that feels...

I don't know if any one here remembers my spotty employment record from
the old days but it seems that when I was working in the computer
industry, I was out of work every few years and some times the
unemployed stretches were so long that I though I was going to loose
everything. The last time I was out of work I started my own company
and now it's all up to me. I may not make as much money, but the
freedom is wonderful...

Tony

On 4/6/2010 7:49 PM, Jan wrote:
>
> First off, I forgot to mark this topic OT. Sorry
>
> But since I'm the King, I can get away with it. Right?
>
>
> Anyhooters.
>
>
> Anyone know what kind of drugs they will give you at a drug test for a
> new job I just got 1 hour ago? BAM!
>
> (at twice the hourly rate of my old job if I was to calculate it... and
> I did.. just shorter days, like a normal workday.. from close to 11
> hours down to 9 feels like it anyway...more time for the family...
> sundays still off.. 5 minute commute instead of half hour... big chain
> company... parts discounts I'm sure... )
>
> Now to figure out how to drop the bomb to my boss.
>

ahhhh I shall call you.........MASTER Jan! lol

Congrats on that new JOB! ;-)

Will you still be working on Porsches?
What will happen to that project car you were restoring?

"Jan" > wrote in message
...
>
>
>
>
> First off, I forgot to mark this topic OT. Sorry
>
> But since I'm the King, I can get away with it. Right?
>
>
> Anyhooters.
>
>
> Anyone know what kind of drugs they will give you at a drug test for a new
> job I just got 1 hour ago? BAM!
>
> (at twice the hourly rate of my old job if I was to calculate it... and I
> did.. just shorter days, like a normal workday.. from close to 11 hours
> down to 9 feels like it anyway...more time for the family... sundays still
> off.. 5 minute commute instead of half hour... big chain company... parts
> discounts I'm sure... )
>
> Now to figure out how to drop the bomb to my boss.
>



--- news://freenews.netfront.net/ - complaints: ---

Thanks Tony, we've done that.
She is having hard times now and now it's my turn to push aside my pain
and be there for her, and I am. Even if it means doing something I don't
want and that would help her get away from me.



TonyW wrote:
> From personal experience it took me 10 years to become any kind of
> friends with my ex. I'd say that with the friendly break up, the door
> is probably open on maybe... Review the stupid things you've done
> (don't think about what she's done that's for her to figure out) then
> sometime when you're having friendly conversation bring them up and tell
> her you were sorry for these things. Don't push it and don't try too
> soon. At the very worst it will make you better friends. As guys we
> tend gloss over our mistakes and not talk about them and women tend to
> take this as arrogance. It's OK to say you were wrong and apologize.
>
> Tony
>
> On 4/6/2010 5:18 PM, Jan wrote:
>>
>>
>> Guys,
>>
>> I thank you for your support through all of this.
>> We have been able to talk a lot more and clear things up.
>> It really is over, there is no chance of going back. What the future
>> brings somewhere down the line, nobody knows. We were able to save an
>> amazing friendship and respect for one another, and we can pretty much
>> agree on everything. She is helping me a lot, and her being emotionally
>> so far ahead of me in the process, helps the situation. I'm a little
>> lost and freaking out sometimes, but she's there to tell me what's what.
>> Isn't that something, who has heard of a divorce like that?!?!
>>
>> But no, it does not leave room for "maybe", if you were thinking that.
>>
>> In the middle of all this, I can consider myself extremely lucky that
>> it's her and not anyone else. I have watched and heard plenty of
>> divorces turn ugly.
>>
>> Jan
>>
>>
>> dave AKA vwdoc1 wrote:
>>> I agree with Robert!
>>> Write more letters from your heart!
>>> JMHO
>>> One out of many daves
>>>
>>>
>>> "Robert" > wrote in message
>>>
>>> I’ve been with my wife for 32 years. We’ve been through a lot and on
>>> the verge of breaking up a few times. What I think has brought us
>>> through the tough times was very similar to a scene in The Outlaw
>>> Josey Wales where Eastwood says to “pilgrims” right before the Indian
>>> attack. Basically, when you think it’s over, you have to have
>>> determination. In your case, I would say, even if she walks, live
>>> your life like you promised her when you proposed and on your wedding
>>> day. Be faithful, be a good dad and husband and work for the best for
>>> her even if it means self-sacrifice. Self-sacrifice means to make
>>> positive changes in the way you live your life and relate to her. Be
>>> there when she needs you. Make decisions like the lives of your
>>> family depend on them. I actually think you ought to write down your
>>> feelings, promises and decisions and give them to her. Maybe your
>>> writing skills are better than your verbal skills. I say that because
>>> I see you write on two VW sites. You are a top class person even when
>>> others go to the gutter. In real life, the good guy doesn’t have to
>>> finish last.
>>>
>>>
>>> --- news://freenews.netfront.net/ - complaints: ---
>

No more Porsches.

I'll be working at the local Pep Boys

True!! As a master tech, getting paid master tech rate, doing master
tech work, like I should.


And hopefully being treated as a human being with some value. That would
be a fresh change.






dave AKA vwdoc1 wrote:
> ahhhh I shall call you.........MASTER Jan! lol
>
> Congrats on that new JOB! ;-)
>
> Will you still be working on Porsches?
> What will happen to that project car you were restoring?
>
> "Jan" > wrote in message
> ...
>>
>>
>>
>> First off, I forgot to mark this topic OT. Sorry
>>
>> But since I'm the King, I can get away with it. Right?
>>
>>
>> Anyhooters.
>>
>>
>> Anyone know what kind of drugs they will give you at a drug test for a new
>> job I just got 1 hour ago? BAM!
>>
>> (at twice the hourly rate of my old job if I was to calculate it... and I
>> did.. just shorter days, like a normal workday.. from close to 11 hours
>> down to 9 feels like it anyway...more time for the family... sundays still
>> off.. 5 minute commute instead of half hour... big chain company... parts
>> discounts I'm sure... )
>>
>> Now to figure out how to drop the bomb to my boss.
>>
>
>
>
> --- news://freenews.netfront.net/ - complaints: ---