A truly sick story about drunk-driving

During the big DUI Dragnet, a Highway Patrolman waited outside a
popular local bar, hoping for a bust. At closing time as everyone came
out, he spotted his potential quarry.

The man was so obviously inebriated that he could barely walk. He
stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, looking for his car.
After trying his keys on five others, he finally found his own vehicle.

He sat in the car a good ten minutes as the other patrons left. He
turned his lights on, then off, wipers on then off. He started to pull
forward into the grass, then stopped. Finally when he was the last car,
he pulled out onto the road and started to drive away.

The Patrolman, waiting for this, turned on his lights and pulled the
man over. He administered the breathalizer test, and to his great
suprise the man blew a 0.00! The Patrolman was dumbfounded!

"This equipment must be broken!" exclaimed the Patrolman.

"I doubt it," said the drunk, "tonight I'm the Designated Decoy!"

-----------------------------------------------

With all the people killed and maimed by drunkdrivers, it takes a
really sick person to help drunk drivers get away with their deadly
crime. This designated decoy didn't break any laws so no point in
arresting him; but let's hope the cops had the decency to break both
his arms.

"Laura Bush murdered her boy friend" > wrote:
> During the big DUI Dragnet, a Highway Patrolman waited outside a
> popular local bar, hoping for a bust. At closing time as everyone came
> out, he spotted his potential quarry.
>
> The man was so obviously inebriated that he could barely walk. He
> stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, looking for his car.
> After trying his keys on five others, he finally found his own vehicle.
>
> He sat in the car a good ten minutes as the other patrons left. He
> turned his lights on, then off, wipers on then off. He started to pull
> forward into the grass, then stopped. Finally when he was the last car,
> he pulled out onto the road and started to drive away.
>
> The Patrolman, waiting for this, turned on his lights and pulled the
> man over. He administered the breathalizer test, and to his great
> suprise the man blew a 0.00! The Patrolman was dumbfounded!
>
> "This equipment must be broken!" exclaimed the Patrolman.
>
> "I doubt it," said the drunk, "tonight I'm the Designated Decoy!"
>
> -----------------------------------------------
>
> With all the people killed and maimed by drunkdrivers, it takes a
> really sick person to help drunk drivers get away with their deadly
> crime. This designated decoy didn't break any laws so no point in
> arresting him; but let's hope the cops had the decency to break both
> his arms.

Um, this is just a joke (you know... humor). In reality, if the cop
suspected the guy was drunk he would have stopped him as soon as he got
into the car. You don't have to be driving to be guilty of DUI. If you
are in the driver's seat with your keys and you are intoxicated then you
can be arrested for DUI.

"Laura Bush murdered her boy friend" > wrote:
> During the big DUI Dragnet, a Highway Patrolman waited outside a
> popular local bar, hoping for a bust. At closing time as everyone came
> out, he spotted his potential quarry.
>
> The man was so obviously inebriated that he could barely walk. He
> stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, looking for his car.
> After trying his keys on five others, he finally found his own vehicle.
>
> He sat in the car a good ten minutes as the other patrons left. He
> turned his lights on, then off, wipers on then off. He started to pull
> forward into the grass, then stopped. Finally when he was the last car,
> he pulled out onto the road and started to drive away.
>
> The Patrolman, waiting for this, turned on his lights and pulled the
> man over. He administered the breathalizer test, and to his great
> suprise the man blew a 0.00! The Patrolman was dumbfounded!
>
> "This equipment must be broken!" exclaimed the Patrolman.
>
> "I doubt it," said the drunk, "tonight I'm the Designated Decoy!"
>
> -----------------------------------------------
>
> With all the people killed and maimed by drunkdrivers, it takes a
> really sick person to help drunk drivers get away with their deadly
> crime. This designated decoy didn't break any laws so no point in
> arresting him; but let's hope the cops had the decency to break both
> his arms.

Um, this is just a joke (you know... humor). In reality, if the cop
suspected the guy was drunk he would have stopped him as soon as he got
into the car. You don't have to be driving to be guilty of DUI. If you
are in the driver's seat with your keys and you are intoxicated then you
can be arrested for DUI.

A decent cop would blow both your brain cells out of your otherwise
empty skull, but we all know there are no decent cops around, huh?
Certainly not that one that pulled you over for doing 41 in a 25mph
school zone. Was he driving a crown vic, by the way?

:
http://groups.google.com/groups?hl=e...ing.google.com

A decent cop would blow both your brain cells out of your otherwise
empty skull, but we all know there are no decent cops around, huh?
Certainly not that one that pulled you over for doing 41 in a 25mph
school zone. Was he driving a crown vic, by the way?

:
http://groups.google.com/groups?hl=e...ing.google.com

"Jim Justjim" > wrote in message
...
> "Laura Bush murdered her boy friend" > wrote:
>> During the big DUI Dragnet, a Highway Patrolman waited outside a
>> popular local bar, hoping for a bust. At closing time as everyone came
>> out, he spotted his potential quarry.
>>
>> The man was so obviously inebriated that he could barely walk. He
>> stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, looking for his car.
>> After trying his keys on five others, he finally found his own vehicle.
>>
>> He sat in the car a good ten minutes as the other patrons left. He
>> turned his lights on, then off, wipers on then off. He started to pull
>> forward into the grass, then stopped. Finally when he was the last car,
>> he pulled out onto the road and started to drive away.
>>
>> The Patrolman, waiting for this, turned on his lights and pulled the
>> man over. He administered the breathalizer test, and to his great
>> suprise the man blew a 0.00! The Patrolman was dumbfounded!
>>
>> "This equipment must be broken!" exclaimed the Patrolman.
>>
>> "I doubt it," said the drunk, "tonight I'm the Designated Decoy!"
>>
>> -----------------------------------------------
>>
>> With all the people killed and maimed by drunkdrivers, it takes a
>> really sick person to help drunk drivers get away with their deadly
>> crime. This designated decoy didn't break any laws so no point in
>> arresting him; but let's hope the cops had the decency to break both
>> his arms.
>
> Um, this is just a joke (you know... humor). In reality, if the cop
> suspected the guy was drunk he would have stopped him as soon as he got
> into the car. You don't have to be driving to be guilty of DUI. If you
> are in the driver's seat with your keys and you are intoxicated then you
> can be arrested for DUI.

Seems dumb if the law is 'driving under the influence'; could be a get-off
if the guy is just sat in his car. In the UK you can be done for 'drunk in
charge of'.

"Jim Justjim" > wrote in message
...
> "Laura Bush murdered her boy friend" > wrote:
>> During the big DUI Dragnet, a Highway Patrolman waited outside a
>> popular local bar, hoping for a bust. At closing time as everyone came
>> out, he spotted his potential quarry.
>>
>> The man was so obviously inebriated that he could barely walk. He
>> stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, looking for his car.
>> After trying his keys on five others, he finally found his own vehicle.
>>
>> He sat in the car a good ten minutes as the other patrons left. He
>> turned his lights on, then off, wipers on then off. He started to pull
>> forward into the grass, then stopped. Finally when he was the last car,
>> he pulled out onto the road and started to drive away.
>>
>> The Patrolman, waiting for this, turned on his lights and pulled the
>> man over. He administered the breathalizer test, and to his great
>> suprise the man blew a 0.00! The Patrolman was dumbfounded!
>>
>> "This equipment must be broken!" exclaimed the Patrolman.
>>
>> "I doubt it," said the drunk, "tonight I'm the Designated Decoy!"
>>
>> -----------------------------------------------
>>
>> With all the people killed and maimed by drunkdrivers, it takes a
>> really sick person to help drunk drivers get away with their deadly
>> crime. This designated decoy didn't break any laws so no point in
>> arresting him; but let's hope the cops had the decency to break both
>> his arms.
>
> Um, this is just a joke (you know... humor). In reality, if the cop
> suspected the guy was drunk he would have stopped him as soon as he got
> into the car. You don't have to be driving to be guilty of DUI. If you
> are in the driver's seat with your keys and you are intoxicated then you
> can be arrested for DUI.

Seems dumb if the law is 'driving under the influence'; could be a get-off
if the guy is just sat in his car. In the UK you can be done for 'drunk in
charge of'.

"¤¤¤ Abo ¤¤¤" > wrote:
> "Jim Justjim" > wrote in message
> ...
> > "Laura Bush murdered her boy friend" > wrote:
> >> During the big DUI Dragnet, a Highway Patrolman waited outside a
> >> popular local bar, hoping for a bust. At closing time as everyone came
> >> out, he spotted his potential quarry.
> >>
> >> The man was so obviously inebriated that he could barely walk. He
> >> stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, looking for his
> >> car. After trying his keys on five others, he finally found his own
> >> vehicle.
> >>
> >> He sat in the car a good ten minutes as the other patrons left. He
> >> turned his lights on, then off, wipers on then off. He started to pull
> >> forward into the grass, then stopped. Finally when he was the last
> >> car, he pulled out onto the road and started to drive away.
> >>
> >> The Patrolman, waiting for this, turned on his lights and pulled the
> >> man over. He administered the breathalizer test, and to his great
> >> suprise the man blew a 0.00! The Patrolman was dumbfounded!
> >>
> >> "This equipment must be broken!" exclaimed the Patrolman.
> >>
> >> "I doubt it," said the drunk, "tonight I'm the Designated Decoy!"
> >>
> >> -----------------------------------------------
> >>
> >> With all the people killed and maimed by drunkdrivers, it takes a
> >> really sick person to help drunk drivers get away with their deadly
> >> crime. This designated decoy didn't break any laws so no point in
> >> arresting him; but let's hope the cops had the decency to break both
> >> his arms.
> >
> > Um, this is just a joke (you know... humor). In reality, if the cop
> > suspected the guy was drunk he would have stopped him as soon as he got
> > into the car. You don't have to be driving to be guilty of DUI. If
> > you are in the driver's seat with your keys and you are intoxicated
> > then you can be arrested for DUI.
>
> Seems dumb if the law is 'driving under the influence'; could be a
> get-off if the guy is just sat in his car. In the UK you can be done for
> 'drunk in charge of'.

Personally I don't like the way they do it here, but in Pennsylvania, in
the USA, I have seen people get arrested and convicted for sitting in their
car, drunk.

"¤¤¤ Abo ¤¤¤" > wrote:
> "Jim Justjim" > wrote in message
> ...
> > "Laura Bush murdered her boy friend" > wrote:
> >> During the big DUI Dragnet, a Highway Patrolman waited outside a
> >> popular local bar, hoping for a bust. At closing time as everyone came
> >> out, he spotted his potential quarry.
> >>
> >> The man was so obviously inebriated that he could barely walk. He
> >> stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, looking for his
> >> car. After trying his keys on five others, he finally found his own
> >> vehicle.
> >>
> >> He sat in the car a good ten minutes as the other patrons left. He
> >> turned his lights on, then off, wipers on then off. He started to pull
> >> forward into the grass, then stopped. Finally when he was the last
> >> car, he pulled out onto the road and started to drive away.
> >>
> >> The Patrolman, waiting for this, turned on his lights and pulled the
> >> man over. He administered the breathalizer test, and to his great
> >> suprise the man blew a 0.00! The Patrolman was dumbfounded!
> >>
> >> "This equipment must be broken!" exclaimed the Patrolman.
> >>
> >> "I doubt it," said the drunk, "tonight I'm the Designated Decoy!"
> >>
> >> -----------------------------------------------
> >>
> >> With all the people killed and maimed by drunkdrivers, it takes a
> >> really sick person to help drunk drivers get away with their deadly
> >> crime. This designated decoy didn't break any laws so no point in
> >> arresting him; but let's hope the cops had the decency to break both
> >> his arms.
> >
> > Um, this is just a joke (you know... humor). In reality, if the cop
> > suspected the guy was drunk he would have stopped him as soon as he got
> > into the car. You don't have to be driving to be guilty of DUI. If
> > you are in the driver's seat with your keys and you are intoxicated
> > then you can be arrested for DUI.
>
> Seems dumb if the law is 'driving under the influence'; could be a
> get-off if the guy is just sat in his car. In the UK you can be done for
> 'drunk in charge of'.

Personally I don't like the way they do it here, but in Pennsylvania, in
the USA, I have seen people get arrested and convicted for sitting in their
car, drunk.

In article > (Jim Justjim) writes:

>Personally I don't like the way they do it here, but in Pennsylvania, in
>the USA, I have seen people get arrested and convicted for sitting in their
>car, drunk.

It's done in California as well.

-Pete Zakel
)

Cogito ergo spud. ["I think, therefore I yam."]