Dad,

It sounds like you are fed up with cars at the moment. Drop the auto repair
for the day and go for a fly. That will clear your head and get you in a
better mood.

Brian


"Dad" > wrote in message
...
> My '72 is tore apart and the dash is on the roof right now so I need a
> little humor in my life.
>
> The Red neck that installed the radio before I got it used a 2" screw to
> re-install the drivers side kick panel. Screw not required because it
> missed the metal and was screwed into the door wiring harness. Some time
> later the windows quit working, will a dead short do that? Cleaned a taped
> the wires and replaced the burnt out relay and all is well. Now all I need
> to do is re-install the dash and the center consol.
>
> My son has never ridden in it and we are going for a ride this weekend if
> we can get him in it, he's up and around now and doing well.
>
> You Might Be A Redneck Pilot If...
>
> ... your stall warning plays "Dixie."
>
> ... your cross-country flight plan uses flea markets as check points.
>
> ... you think sectionals charts should show trailer parks.
>
> ... you've ever used moonshine as avgas.
>
> ... you have mud flaps on your wheel pants.
>
> ... you think GPS stands for going perfectly straight.
>
> ... your toothpick keeps poking your mike.
>
> ... you constantly confuse Beechcraft with Beechnut.
>
> ... just before impact, you are heard saying, "Hey y'all, watch this!"
>
>
> ... you have a black airplane with a big #3 on the side.
>
> ... you've ever just taxied around the airport drinking beer.
>
> ... you use a Purina feed bag for a windsock.
>
> ... you fuel your Wizzbang 140 from a Mason jar.
>
> ... you wouldn't be caught dead flyin' a Grumman "Yankee."
>
> ... you refer to flying in formation as "We got ourselves a convoy!"
>
> ... there is a sign on the side of your aircraft advertising your
> septic tank service.
>
> ... you are the owner of Red Neck Airlines and pilot of Redneck One.
>
> ... you subscribe to The Southern Aviator because of the soft paper!
>
> ... you have ever incorporated sheetrock into the repair of your
> aircraft.
>
> ... you have ever responded to ATC with the phrase "That's a big
> 10-4!"
>
> ... you typically answer female controllers with titles like "Sugar"
> or "Little darlin'."
> If she responds with the words "Honey" or "Big guy" then she may be a
> redneck.
>
> ... you have ever used a relief tube as a spittoon.
>
> ... you have ever tried to impress your girlfriend by buzzing her
> doublewide.
>
> ... the preprinted portion of your weight and balance sheet contains
> "Case of Bud."
>
> ... your go/no-go checklist includes the words "Skoal" or "Redman."
> --
> Dad
> 04 C5 CE Z51
> 72 Shark Black/Black/4spd
>