Stop the press! Everything I said in my previous post turns out to be
totally wrong.

The service guy had told me that they would disconnect my alarm in a way
that would allow me to still use the remote. It turns out he was talking
in BMW double speak language. What he really meant was that the alarm
would not be disconnected but he would show me how to manually lock the
car and that this would probably stop the alarm from going off.

Manually locking a four door car is not the easiest thing to do, but
it's better than leaving the car unlocked for the two weeks it takes BMW
Germany to uncover the part and send it to Canada.

Also, the part which would stop the tailgate from opening by itself,
which he said they now had, turned out to be the wrong part, so this too
will take two weeks to fix.

Leaving the car at the BMW shop was a real treat for the seagulls, who
covered the hood in seagull ****. It was a nice symbolic end to the day.

I'm trying to see the bright side of all this. I have a brand new car
which has two defective parts? It's like owning a Jaguar, something I
always dreamed of.

The BMW shop doesn't store parts and it takes them two weeks to get a
part from Germany? It's like having a Lamborghini, something I never
even dreamed of.

And surely having two defective parts turn up in the first three months
doesn't mean the car is going to be a lemon, does it?