A New Category of Sloth
 

We have already identified several categories of Sloth, including

* Sloth Mergers, the doddering ninnies who take the on-ramp at 45 MPH

* Sloth Coasters, the guys who take their foot off the gas whenever
they see a red light (or even a "stale green") somewhere before the
horizon

* Sloth Passers, the pricks who get into the passing lane and procees
to "pass" the other vehicle with a 0.001 MPH speed differential,
causing the pass to last forever

* Sloth Speeders, the Sloths who accelerate like molasses in January
but keep right on accelerating; eventually, if they have enough
running room, they will get up to 80 MPH

And now there are Sloth Spoilers, the assholes who sit right next to
you and match the speed of the Sloth in front of you, preventing you
from changing into the wide open lane in front of the SS and escaping
the trap. To escape their clutches, you have to slow down to a speed
even lower than the SS, change lanes behind him twice, and then punch
it - that's assuming you have at least 3 traffic lanes with which to
work. If there are only 2 lanes, you're screwed.

Of all the different kinds of Sloth, I think I hate the Sloth Spoilers
the most.

A New Category of Sloth
 

In article >, newsgroup says:

>And now there are Sloth Spoilers, the assholes who sit right next to
>you and match the speed of the Sloth in front of you, preventing you
>from changing into the wide open lane in front of the SS and escaping
>the trap.

Don't you HATE these people?! I think its yet another case of "never
attribute to malice what's best charged to stupidity"; I think they're
so ingrained to follow along with the herd they don't realize what
they're doing.

-Kenny

--
Kenneth R. Crudup Sr. SW Engineer, Scott County Consulting, Los Angeles
H: 3630 S. Sepulveda Blvd. #138, L.A., CA 90034-6809 (310) 391-1898

A New Category of Sloth
 

Scott en Aztlán wrote: <brevity snip>
> We have already identified several categories of Sloth, including
-----

You've identified categories of Sloth but never defined the term
itself. From context it seems "anyone driving slower than you and/or
anyone in front of you". Would that be correct?
-----

- gpsman

A New Category of Sloth
 

In article .com>, gpsman wrote:
> Scott en Aztlán wrote: <brevity snip>
>> We have already identified several categories of Sloth, including
> -----
>
> You've identified categories of Sloth but never defined the term
> itself. From context it seems "anyone driving slower than you and/or
> anyone in front of you". Would that be correct?

Here's mine: Someone who makes a certain driving move or drives slower
than I would on a bicycle (including rate of acceleration) or someone
who is blocking the natural flow of traffic with their slower than
normal speed of driving in an inappropiate lane for that speed.

Another catagory of sloth is someone who drives a compartitively powerful
automobile but gets less performance out of it than I got out of the
torqueless wonder car or my 1973 maverick. For instance, someone who
merges on to an interstate with a 200+hp car at 35mph is sloth.

A New Category of Sloth
 

Scott en Aztlán wrote:
> We have already identified several categories of Sloth, including
>
> * Sloth Mergers, the doddering ninnies who take the on-ramp at 45 MPH
>
> * Sloth Coasters, the guys who take their foot off the gas whenever
> they see a red light (or even a "stale green") somewhere before the
> horizon
>
> * Sloth Passers, the pricks who get into the passing lane and procees
> to "pass" the other vehicle with a 0.001 MPH speed differential,
> causing the pass to last forever
>
> * Sloth Speeders, the Sloths who accelerate like molasses in January
> but keep right on accelerating; eventually, if they have enough
> running room, they will get up to 80 MPH
>
> And now there are Sloth Spoilers, the assholes who sit right next to
> you and match the speed of the Sloth in front of you, preventing you
> from changing into the wide open lane in front of the SS and escaping
> the trap. To escape their clutches, you have to slow down to a speed
> even lower than the SS, change lanes behind him twice, and then punch
> it - that's assuming you have at least 3 traffic lanes with which to
> work. If there are only 2 lanes, you're screwed.
>
> Of all the different kinds of Sloth, I think I hate the Sloth Spoilers
> the most.

One of the great things about being a slow driver is i'm never bothered
by all this little stuff that is driving you to an early grave.
HAHAHAHAHAHA

A New Category of Sloth
 

Laura Bush murdered her boy friend, > was motivated
to say this in rec.autos.driving on 8 Dec 2005 22:47:38 -0800:
> One of the great things about being a slow driver is i'm never bothered
> by all this little stuff that is driving you to an early grave.
>

The way you bitch and moan about *everything,* you will be dead and
buried long before any of us, you twit.

BBBBWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHAAAAHHAAAHHAAHAAA HAAHHAAAAA!

A New Category of Sloth
 

On Fri, 09 Dec 2005 00:08:11 -0600,
(Brent P) wrote:

>> You've identified categories of Sloth but never defined the term
>> itself.
>
>Here's mine: Someone who makes a certain driving move or drives slower
>than I would on a bicycle (including rate of acceleration) or someone
>who is blocking the natural flow of traffic with their slower than
>normal speed of driving in an inappropiate lane for that speed.

I would agree with this definition.

Here in SoCal, we have beattiful six-lane roads with 55 MPH speed
limits - and a bunch of MORON SLOTHS who never make it up beyond 35 or
40 MPH. For example, the Sloth Coasters let off the gas because they
see a red light a half-mile away (never realizing it is impossible to
"time" a sensor-controlled traffic signal, and that the sooner a
vehicle arrives at the sensor loop the sooner the light will change).

Unfortunately, lack of consideration seems to go hand-in-hand with
Sloth. If these people gave a **** about anyone but themselves, they
would confine their Sloth behavior to the appropriate lane and/or take
reasonable steps to avoid needlessly blocking other traffic. But you
almost never see this kind of genuine courtesy on the roads; what you
see instead is a Sloth Merger demanding "courtesy" from everyone else,
expecting to be "let in" when they try to merge into a 75 MPH traffic
stream at 40 MPH.

A New Category of Sloth
 

On 8 Dec 2005 22:47:38 -0800, "Laura Bush murdered her boy friend"
> wrote:

>One of the great things about being a Sloth LLB is i'm never bothered
>by all this little stuff that is driving you to an early grave.
>HAHAHAHAHAHA

Say, aren't you the one who gets all bent out of shape by us "evil
speeders?" According to you, your blood boils so much you carry around
bags of marbles to toss out your window.

If anyone here is a candidate for hypertension-related sudden death,
it's got to be you.

A New Category of Sloth
 

How about adding Sloth Turners? Those are the ones who may travel at
or above the speed limit in a straight line, but come to a near stop
when turning onto a side road, lot entrance, etc. I see this a lot
from SUVs and trucks, but it's certainly not limited to any specific
category of vehicle.

A New Category of Sloth
 

wrote:
> How about adding Sloth Turners? Those are the ones who may travel at
> or above the speed limit in a straight line, but come to a near stop
> when turning onto a side road, lot entrance, etc. I see this a lot
> from SUVs and trucks, but it's certainly not limited to any specific
> category of vehicle.


You gonna live?